Uberman

Leadership is often attributed to valiant warriors, whether on the battle field or in life, who stand tall despite the most challenging of circumstances.  What does it take to become a strong leader?  How can you tell a leader from a follower?  Of what is a leader made? 

I consider myself a leader.  How do I know I am a leader?  Well, I often find myself answering questions of the life changing variety.  The person answering questions of this kind often possesses something that others derive a sense of security from.  Likewise, I have often found myself alone by choice, having a few select close friends, criticized for outlandish behavior, and having to put the pieces back together. 

I have made some of the greatest mistakes as a leader however and even lived as a weak leader, abusing my leadership and creating challenges for myself which were entirely avoidable and unnecessary.

To be a leader is not to push or prod.  To be a leader is not to control situations or others.  Life has taught me that being a strong leader is to execute full responsibility for the effects of believing and acting in a manner that reflects a deep appreciation for certain key principles.  Leadership is not clinging to things relentlessly and stubbornly. 

If you realize that all things change,
there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
If you aren’t afraid of dying,
there is nothing you can’t achieve.

Trying to control the future
is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place.
When you handle the master carpenter’s tools,
chances are that you’ll cut your hand.

Tao Te Ching
Lao-tzu
74

From an early age I remember feeling as though my desires and the world around me were at odds.  My every whim to explore and my curiosity was often cut short via locked doors, the word “no”, and basically, parents who cared about me.  At such an early age, children are vulnerable to such a degree that leading is not truly an option.

At some point in life we realize that our vulnerability is secondary to our purpose in life and that our principles, whatever those may be, inspire such a fervor within us that we must lead or die.  Children may possess trailblazing qualities, but it is not until we come of age so to speak that we are able to realize the true magnitude of this deep seated calling. 

Forms of Leadership

Leadership takes on many forms, some of which are gracefully subtle, drawing no attention at all, and others which are valiant, bold, and witnessed indisputably.  I’d like to say I am of the former variety now, yet in the past I had adhered to living the latter.

Why would I wish for a subtler form of leadership?  Let me share with you something about myself:  I stand before you a transformed woman.  I stand before you a woman aware of misdeeds.  I have acknowledged how I have abused leadership and this awareness has served me exponentially.  There was once a day when my desire to lead was pretty much arm in arm with control.  With those closest to me that exuded characteristics of the “following” variety, this behavior became even more pronounced. 

Failure is an opportunity.
If you blame someone else,
there is no end to the blame.

Therefore the Master
fulfills her own obligations
and corrects her own mistakes.
She does what she needs to do
and demands nothing of others.

Tao Te Ching
Lao-tzu
79

Seeing poor results and the negative emotions associated with abusing leadership, it occurred to me after some introspection that I was behaving like a weak leader.  I acknowledged something had to change.  This is not to say that valiant or bold leadership is somehow weak, but that I had adhered to a form of leadership which was pugnacious.  At some point along the line, I had forgotten who I really was and had discarded my deepest values for the sake of seeming control.

To behave as and become a strong leader requires a willingness to revert back to one’s own purpose.  Remember, I believe that being a strong leader is to execute full responsibility for the effects of believing and acting in a manner that reflects a deep appreciation for certain key principles.  No where along the line does strong leadership ever become synonymous with control, attachment, criticism, or proving anything to anyone.

I have found that the less I care about what I am proving to anyone around me the stronger the leader I become.  Likewise, the less I criticize and attempt to create or promote situations and behaviors in others, the stronger my resolve is to get in touch with my purpose and live a life that I truly enjoy.

After having seen the disaster that weak leadership was in my life, and damaging valuable relationships along the way, I realized that weak leadership is based entirely in fear and that love and strong leadership are soul twins.

When we were children with fantasies of our favorite superheroes, we imagined them as brave, unwavering in their loyalty to certain principles, and above all we saw them as true humanists.  To be a great leader, to be a strong leader, is to be a humanist.

What does being a humanist have to do with leadership?  When we love our fellow humans, we lead in a way that reflects that love.  Likewise, when we love ourselves as humans, we learn to love other humans more fully, and by that fact we lead in a way that reflects respect for the human spirit.  This respect embraces personal autonomy and the life of each human as a unique and beautiful part of the world we live in.

Humanism as an –ism creates feelings of unity and peace where great differences may be found.  So you and I may be completely dissimilar in many ways, including our views on leadership, life, passion, and more, yet my adherence to principles which respect you as a unique and valuable life form override any potential discomfort.  They also override any seeming need I may find within myself to alter who you are or what you believe because I respect you as a fellow traveler of life. 

Strong leaders are aware of their limitations and are aware of what their purpose is at all times.  This often requires stepping back, allowing things to work themselves out, and releasing attachment.  Strong leaders know themselves and do not need to hold dominion over others because their very nature abhors the thought of such an act.  Dominion over others is an additional responsibility that I have no desire to feed. 

The responsibility that I have to lead my own life in a way I feel comfortable with is enough work for me.  I find great pleasure in my personal growth and I feel no need to interfere with the growth of others.  Around the same time that I realized I had to change my approach to leadership and my purpose, I realized that I like to keep things simple.  Why complicate life by constantly feeling the need to take responsibility for the choices and actions of others? 

The nature of a truly strong leader always, always, always reverts back to love and humanism.

Strong Leadership & Creation

The greatest benefit to discovering what I had to change as a leader if I was to become stronger and maintain a peaceful life was that somehow, as if by magic, the minute I altered my approach and view of my responsibilities as a leader my creative energy exploded.  Once I realized that my sole responsibility was to my personal autonomy and that my actions were the art which others admired, I became increasingly focused on creating.

Writing, reading, understanding myself, meditation, personal relationships, opportunities, and peace of mind became abundant once weak leadership vaporized.  Everything that I had hoped to achieve through the use of weak leadership, but which had turned into botched situations and decisions, began to unfold before my eyes.

Yes, folks, strong leadership is the way to go.  It creates a freedom to create and lead others toward creating in powerful ways without the negative emotions and resentment affiliated with weak leadership.

Creating by its very nature requires that we be committed to getting things done, to making things happen on a daily basis.  Why would it come as any surprise that strong leadership is required for those committed to creating value and delivering it to the world?  Creation requires diligence and with diligence comes a firm awareness of what you want and how hard you are willing to work to get there.

Likewise, I have often found that my personal form of creating or the space I need to create within have often been under fire.  Part of being a strong leader is managing the heat that comes when the outside world tells you how to be.  To truly create something amazing requires putting up blinders so to speak, going a different route, and asking yourself, ”Says who?” Leadership and creation are the most amazing bed fellows.

I suppose another aspect of this involves such a keen awareness of your craft that it in effect becomes even more remarkable.  What amazing artists and creators exist who have not been keenly aware of their craft, who have not set many hours aside to understanding their personal purpose and desires? 

Many of the greatest minds throughout history were preoccupied with their own personal development and the development of their work.  Newton, Beethoven, Wittgenstein, Kafka, and many more where that came from are all great minds whose work benefited by their devotion to it.  Perhaps it may be argued that their methods were somewhat fanatical and anti-social, yet their personal circumstances and creation became all that it was due to a diligent attention to its value.  Often the passion to create was so great that any interference was shunned.

Being willing to devote such time and energy to your craft requires strong leadership, especially in a world which is full of many distractions.  We must choose what we wish to focus on however and what we allow to enter our minds will reflect on our creative energy. 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leaders who are strong in their resolve and who truly are connected with who they are and what they wish to create are usually very selective about what they spend energy on.  This in turn affects their results positively as long as energy is spent in productive ways.

So what may be considered productive?  For me personally, time spent nurturing my ability to bring value to the world and to live as peaceful a life as possible is critical.  This involves attention to the body’s needs, the mind’s needs, and the spirit’s needs.  Each day I make time to devote to all three aspects of my being and the results reflect very well on my ability to create in ways which I find satisfying. 

Essentially, creating amazing and valuable things on a regular basis requires strong leadership.  Have you ever met someone who consistently creates amazing things but who has no real connection with who they are or what their purpose is?  Likely not. 

Strong Leadership & Peace

So post-weak leadership-havoc-on-my-life, what can I say has made it all worth while?  Well aside from the creative space I now have in abundance due to shifting my focus, I have a greater amount of peace in my life. 

When you are attempting to control others, focused on the actions of others, and generally involved in weak and ridiculous leadership pursuits, the amount of peace in your life drastically diminishes.  Likewise, you feel like complete rubbish because you are constantly running around in circles focusing on all of the least empowering details of life—namely, what the next guy is doing, saying, creating, etc. and how you plan to change that somehow. 

There is nothing more destructive to your peace of mind and creative being than focusing on things which are out of your control and which really have no actual value to your purpose anyway. 

At some point, devoting valuable energy to the pursuit of controlling the uncontrollable gets pretty self-defeating.  You end up losing that valuable energy and you end up exhausted and wondering what went wrong.

Peace of mind is dear to me and when I really connected with that, and my desire to act in love and to allow my inner humanist to express herself in all ways, I realized that the former things had to pass away.

That is when all that weak leadership, and all the behaviors attached to that way of living, died a quick and painless death.  I say quick and painless because opening yourself to becoming a strong leader is always such a relief and a breath of fresh air because you shift from tensely trying to control situations and persons to peacefully focusing on your own purpose and what you are doing with your life.  Now that is truly refreshing!

Having to face the acceptance that this requires and having to then consciously shift your focus to yourself may seem a challenge and may put you in touch with fears and pain that have remained hidden behind a roughened exterior often found where weak leadership lives.  I certainly had to face these realities.  Yet facing these things led to such a profound burden being lifted off my shoulders when I finally accepted that a) weak leadership leads to pain and that b) I am not interested in inviting that kind of stress into my life. 

There is no rule in life that says we must stay the same or that the habits and ways of thinking you have now or yesterday must remain permanent fixtures in your life.  There is nothing stopping you from doing what you want and creating new ways of relating with the world.  There is absolutely nothing preventing you from having that peace in your life.  You are the master of your vessel and you decide.

In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can’t be gained by interfering.

Tao Te Ching
Lao-tzu
48

Seize the Time

If you resonate with anything in this post and feel a desire to shift your focus and create a more peaceful life through strong leadership practices, now is the time to consider making some changes.

Do not wait and let even more of your life pass by in weak mode.  Today is one of the best days of your life.  Why?  Because you are here now and alive, able, with blood running through your veins, and this day is the only day you have in your hands right this moment to do anything new. 

When I first came to realize that I was feeling pretty crappy because most of my energy was spent focused on ineffective and inconsequential things I got busy immediately.  What did I do?  I devoured books with ideas and concepts on new ways to live and think about the world.  I instantly became attracted to people who were living as strong leaders and I began to consort with them and understand the fruit of their works.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is a great and transformative book.  I got in touch with creative minds and how solitude and self-direction were powerful in the lives of creative people.  Solitude by Anthony Storr went into the psychological aspects of this in the lives of creative minds. 

I began to meditate daily, often two to three times per day.  I began to write daily.  I even underwent a physical relocation to redirect my focus and to help me begin the necessary changes which have transformed my way of thinking and acting. 

I became even more aware of the gratitude that I feel for everything I experience and I focused on forgiveness, acceptance, and being conscious of what energy I was putting out into the world. 

Each day is a new day with interesting and challenging situations.  It is up to us to draw on our internal strength and live a life that creates peace and joy for ourselves and those near us.  Today is the very best possible day to begin changing how you live.  Tomorrow is of course never guaranteed as we all know, yet I can guarantee that should tomorrow show up, the time and energy you have devoted to creating a stronger leader out of yourself will open doors of opportunity that you could not possibly imagine.

Once these changes are in effect the benefits roll in instantaneously, yet each day requires “upkeep” so to speak.  We all have the potential to fall off the wagon.  A diligent and aware mind is a powerful asset.  Through daily meditation, connecting with all I am grateful for, and through nurturing my physical, mental, and spiritual health, I can keep the strong leader within me healthy and ready for any challenge that comes my way.

Other Essays You Will Enjoy:

3 Reasons Why Your Energy Matters

The Silent Space of Power

Ten (10) Questions That Will Absolutely Change Your Life

Learn How to Lead Yourself to a Healthier YOU:

The Burn Fat, No Sweat! eBook

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Tagged: weak leadership, holly lewis, strong leadership, creation, leadership, change, leaders, think, challenges, leading