Uberman

I once was a very impatient and future-oriented girl.  I had been very fixated on the “then” aspect of life, looking at how things “will” be “if only”.

Well “if only” is in quotes so what does that tell you?  There is a thin line between living your life and thinking about living it, or dreaming about living it, or planning to live it sometime maybe when this or that happens. 

What is one of the most often heard excuses for why we don’t choose to follow our passions?  Well, for me personally it has been money.  I have wanted to do a number of things which never happened because of money.  Or so I thought.

No event fails to materialize due to money.  Repeat that.  Actually, what fails to materialize is the will, the energy, the true desire, or the cognizance of opportunity.

Consider it this way: if something traumatic were to happen to a very dear loved one, you would find the money to manage whatever specific thing was required of you at the time.  You would find a way.  Period.  Our love for that individual would compel us to muster up the courage and the gusto to make it happen. 

Let us not forget that I mentioned true desire.  So if the specific event that failed to materialize was not truly desired, for whatever reason, at that given moment, it would naturally remain immaterial, a dream, an idea, a non-reality.  Somehow, that specific event is decidedly unnecessary, or not occurring at the appropriate time to materialize, or not quite fit enough to come into being.

Not everything we opt out of implies there was more we could have done.  It may very well be that our truest and deepest desires were not in alignment with that specific thing.  The human mind is capable of creating obstacles at a subconscious level which hinder an event out of a deep seated knowing or urge.  This can be a powerful force in our lives.  Far more powerful than what we may consciously think we need. 

Consciously we know what we think we need.  Our consciousness and waking hours are spent seeking and finding those things.  Yet subconsciously we may have something more brewing which has other ideas, or ideas which are actually in direct opposition with what we think we are looking for.

Uncertainty

So what does this have to do with uncertainty?  Within uncertainty we may sit and in that space we always have the option of seeing or thinking about the potential lack or the potential abundance.  We always have the option of seeing either what may not come to be or what may come to be. 
Within uncertainty is the opportunity to clearly define our deepest wants and move into either direction with those wants.  It’s a line between two boxes with either box leading us closer or farther from any given thing.

Uncertainty creates room to highlight the smallest details of your day which are absolutely important to you and you alone.  So the person next to you may scoff, frown, laugh or obsequiously bow to your will, yet the room created within uncertainty is all yours and nothing outsiders mention is truly of any consequence.

So you highlight the details which are important to you, considering uncertainty, and you decide to allocate specific time for their accomplishment.  Perhaps a loved one you would like to express your devotion to, perhaps someone you have not seen in a while, perhaps a new adherence to a specific goal or desire for yourself.  No matter the specific thing.  Uncertainty creates immediacy in everyday life which demands our attention and calls us to step up and live moment to moment. 

Uncertainty is the fire which breathes hot breath into our feet and hands, compelling us to move forward, push harder, and accomplish the truest passions of the heart.  It compels us to love.  To act.  To love that much harder.  To run after the train, to call late at night, to write the song, to get out the guitar, sing despite the pain, right the wrongs, write the story, and pass on the tale.  Uncertainty is the precursor to all passions and the desire to create something which will fill the time and mend the gap between beating hearts.

When Things Become Uncertain…

You realize that at all times every given thing is relatively uncertain.  Nothing is certain.  We can assert ourselves and create, yet in this assertion and creation, we are still uncertain of how that will affect us or those around us.  We can never fully know beyond our own humble uncertainty.  Within the acceptance of uncertainty we are living most fully.

It is within this space of acceptance that I ask you to step into.  Bring to mind what it feels like, physiologically, to be accepting of uncertainty.  To even be at peace with it.  My physical being feels fluid, slower moving, grounded.  My eyes are fixed though open to wandering and enjoying the passing scene, the beauty of the ride.  My hands are content to sit still at my sides though willing to work fastidiously.  My heart is open and full of reason, though magic and awe encapsulate its every corner.  It beats steadily and with primal trust.  My feet are rooted and grounded in the moment as my physical body passes from one location to another.

Uncertainty is the pathway to all possibility.  A close friend told me this recently.  I have since used it repeatedly, wrote the words down repeatedly, and repeated the phrase to myself.  The words are comforting when we face the unknown.  They remind me that everything unknown, new, and fresh is in the moment following now.  Everything that we could ever hope for lies directly within uncertainty and only through the uncertain elements of life are we able to create experiences which we feel connected with.

The Importance of the Moment

After reading some of Malcom Gladwell’s blink I found myself even more motivated to live in the very near and present moment, aware of the subtlest sensations within my body and surroundings.  Considering how transient life is, as well as the many phases we will no doubt go through in life, it is important to recognize how acutely aware our being is of the subtle things which may not readily occur to the conscious mind.

We owe it to our brilliant mind and composition to trust more fully in the instinctual aspects of ourselves, the parts of ourselves which most fully understand what we may need at any given moment.  I am learning to trust myself more, my intuition, my gut, the accelerated heart beats, the desire to leave or enter a space for no apparent reason, and the willingness to let caution fall to the side. 

This trust is only fully possible if we are aware of uncertainty and allow our body and mind to more completely move us in different directions.  Logic and analysis may not fully express what we need or how a situation ought to be dealt with.  Rather it may complicate matters further and invite more challenges into the situation.

The simple and instinctual aspects of life which suddenly pop up each day while we navigate through the world are fascinating to subscribe to and trust in.  This trust also takes some of the burden from our conscious mind bringing the focus back to the primal trust that grounds us as flesh and blood creatures of the earth around us.  We then become even more connected to our role and our interior essence.  Gladwell seemed to connect to the amazing ways in which our physical being is already primed with what we need to connect to the essence of a situation in little time.

Human Experience (aka Uncertainty)

That header should actually read “Life Experience” because all living things ultimately live within a world of uncertainty.  We may have faith, we may trust, and yet we remain uncertain.  Uncertainty births faith and trust.  Without uncertainty there would be no need for faith or trust.  If all were known and certain where would faith come into play?  And uncertainty offers us the perfect opportunity to face fears, master them, and move beyond them into acceptance and peace.

The spice of all things amazing in this life revolves around stepping onto unfounded ground and discovering, with a beaming and oft childlike smile, that the soil is sturdy, and in fact even good for growing crops; that the soil produces the most amazing of crops, even after all your toil originally appeared to be for naught; even when you doubted; even when a few of the crops were eaten by fuzzy bunnies, stolen away by thieves in the night, and trampled by an onslaught of nomadic caribou; even when the unlikeliest of circumstances came to be.  Uncertainty checked out alright.  And despite the casualties, you are sitting here reading this, stomach full, pockets full enough, and mind fed with stimulating ideas gyrating to the beat of the present moment and the hope of the future.  Uncertainty.  It’s not so bad after all. 

Tagged: malcom gladwell, holly lewis, trust, faith, instinct, uncertainty, blink, unknown